Dear Compassionate Friends:

The casseroles have all been eaten, the thank you notes sent out and the company has gone home. You are feeling utterly alone in your grief, shock and disbelief. Well meaning friends and family may have implied or even straight out said "it's been two weeks-you should be back to 'normal' now". Your employer may be hinting or even demanding you return to work. What they don't know or understand is that your world has changed forever. Grief changes your body physically, mentally and emotionally. We have all heard the documented proof that "Covid brain" exists. "Grief brain" is just as debilitating. You may not be taking care of yourself by not eating enough or too much, sleeping too much or not enough; you are getting through the days on autopilot.

How do you begin to function? How do you learn to live without your child? How do you let others know what you need to deal with your grief? How long will you feel this way? How do you find the answers to your questions?



Remember, you are not alone. You don't have to do this journey alone. Come to a Compassionate Friends meeting. Go to the Compassionate Friends website or find a chat room if you are not comfortable coming to a meeting. Sharing with others who have gone through or who are going through this journey is so helpful. We may have some suggestions to your questions. We may have some helpful resources for you. At the very least, we want to get to know you and your child, grandchild or sibling through your sharing. When you express a thought, you may find many others in the group nodding. No matter how crazy you worry your thoughts are, we all have probably thought the same thing at one time or another. It was so comforting to me to be able to talk about my child without someone walking away or changing the subject because they were so uncomfortable or felt so helpless. It was also so helpful to meet others who were able to survive their grief journey, and go on living to love and honor their child by helping others struggling on that journey.

We cannot take your pain away, or bring back your precious child, but maybe we can support you, and help you find the answers to your questions. Maybe we can help you navigate this journey, as we travel together.

I wish you comfort and healing, and the peace that passes all understanding.

In friendship,