Dear Compassionate Friends:

These poems remind us that we are all dealing with our grief the best we possibly can, and to be gentle with ourselves and others in our healing journey. We may not experience grief in the same way, and what helps one person heal or find comfort may not work for another. Some may find great comfort in their faith or spirituality; others feel anger that we were somehow "singled out". Many of us blame ourselves for our child's death: that somehow we should have known something was wrong and taken action to prevent the outcome.



We feel we should have been able to protect our child and keep him safe from death. Perhaps you are even unconsciously angry at your child-that he or she took unnecessary risks or didn't reach out for help before it was too late.

It is important to remember you need to take the time to heal. You are not on anyone else's timeline or expectations. It is very common to have "one step forward, two steps back" days in your grief, especially at first. You will eventually have more good days than bad as you progress in your healing journey.

It is also important that you listen to your own needs. Sometimes even well meaning people who care about you will tell you what they think you should do or how you should feel. Even if they have taken this journey of grief themselves, this is not always helpful.

Our hope at Compassionate Friends is that you find healing and comfort from your pain in the understanding and solace of others who walk this journey with you. In time, we hope that you can forgive yourself, let go of any blame or anger you carry, and gently live in the peace.

I wish you comfort and healing, and the peace that passes all understanding.

In friendship,